Monday Evening, 12/10/07

The desensitization went as well as can be expected. Nathan, Christa, and the nurse worked until around midnight on Friday evening. The multivitamin bag was then hung separately, where it remains non-stop. He has responded very well to the vitamins. His intestines are still not working. The surgeon thinks it could be related to the vitamin deficiency, but we won't know until we give it more time.

Our nerves and patience are frayed. This has been a long tortuous ordeal which continues with no end in sight. I try to be strong, but I think the nurses and doctors can sense our mental and emotional exhaustion. It certainly doesn't appear as though Nathan will be home for Christmas. Yet another month/season/holiday come and gone. The only thing that really gives me strength is seeing his smile and enduring spirit every day.

I feel awkward when someone walks up and asks how he's doing. I really appreciate the thoughts and concerns, but I catch myself in a pause trying to formulate an answer. "How's he doing? Hmm. If I say 'good', then they'll think he's doing good. If I say 'bad', then it means he's taken a bad turn. How can I summarize that he's recovering from a vitamin deficiency, but his intestines aren't working, he has a mild infection, he was able to walk a few more steps today, but we're not expecting him home for the holidays... in three words or less?"

The thing is, you never quite know how folks will respond to the details and minutia of a four-month (plus) hospital stay. I've found that it helps to keep it brief, but sometimes it's just not possible. I usually end up stammering for a bit, "uh, well... he's sorta ok, but we're not sure... hmm, yeah, I guess he's not quite as bad as yesterday".

Life goes on.